Saturday, February 8, 2014

...reflections...

Tonight Andy and I were fortunate enough to make it to the Art Museum for First Fridays where we saw a giant blank sheet of cream paper displayed as art. Andy chuckled, incredulous.

Many people view art with an “I don't get it” attitude. Being completely honest, there have been numerous times when I've looked at a work of art and tilted my head from side to side like a confused dog. I find that to be one of the most fascinating aspects of art. Even while the artist is creating it, he has no control over how the viewer will receive it. It is an interactive process in which both the artist and viewer are integral players. And while I may not understand it, I feel compelled to participate.

One day, I went to an art opening for an acquaintance in an attempt to be supportive. His style at that time was to create these beautiful and intricate landscapes using just a few lines. His pen would not leave the page until the picture was completely finished. I remember gazing at all these giant pieces and feeling amazed at how everything had this sense of connectedness because it was, in fact, all connected.

I continued to gaze around the gallery at some of his smaller works when my eyes saw it. A tiny picture of a solitary flower standing alone amidst these bigger pieces. It's head drooping, it's eyes downcast, looking toward the floor. It's frail and fragile body quivering, as if a delicate breeze might blow it away. Looking weak, weary, feeling unlovely and unloved. She was completely and utterly naked and I couldn't tear my gaze away.

It was as if I was looking into a mirror.

This little flower was me. I was instantly embarrassed and ashamed and appalled. I spoke of it to no one, but quickly bought the picture and hid it in a bag, desperate only to get it off the wall lest someone should recognize me. I couldn't bear to have them know I was so weak, so frail, so unlovely.

I went home that night, hid the picture in a box and stuffed the box deep in the basement. It wasn't until years later, when the basement flooded and made quite a mess, that I rediscovered this piece.

And all those all feelings came rushing back.

Eventually, I had to deal with the things in my life that caused me to view this work in that way. By the time that basement flooded, I was well into my healing process, and I was able to look at that little flower differently. Her humble posture had become beautiful to me. Her frailty was exceptionally exquisite. And, to me, she stood resplendent in her nakedness, unashamed.

It's now on display in my home as a reminder of who I was, and who I am. I have never connected with a piece of art in the same way since. 

Have you ever had an experience like this with a work of art? Will you share it with me?

For more information on the galleries participating in First Fridays for 2014 and the free exhibitions that you can enjoy, click here.

The artist's name is Jon Sauder.   

9 comments:

  1. I was just going to ask you if you had heard anything about Margot. I see they have found a donor. This is wonderful news! .Her parents must be so relieved. Bless her little heart. I pray all goes well for her.
    The dough is rising for the roles. I chose a recipe from the Mennonite Girls Can Cook blog. Do you know that blog?. I think you would enjoy it. I'll let you know how they come out.
    Don't know about a trip. My regular travel pals who always talk about going here and there are suddenly indecisive and equivocating. I'll give it another month till about spring break and then decide . Where I go kinda depends if I go solo or with someone. How about you two. I know you want to see tuscany, any other travel destinationson on your mind?.
    Sharon, You are not in anyway that poor little droopy flower. I wonder where that artist was at in his life when he drew that. I can hardly look at it. It is so sad it looks like a first cousin to Charlie Brown's pitiful little christmas tree.haha. You are a sunflower girl and don't you forget it !!!.

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  2. Sitting here, eating my oatmeal, all I can think about is cinnamon rolls...how did they turn out? Were they ooey, gooey delicious?

    I've never heard of the Mennonite Girls Can Cook blog, but I'll add it to my blog feed. Last fall I was introduced to The Baker Chick and I really like that site.

    Our travel plans include heading to PA to see family over Spring Break, and then swinging over to NYC for a few days since Andy's never been. I'm excited to introduce him to the big apple!! Have you ever been? We'll see a show and do a bunch of other touristy activities! I'm sort of super excited for that. We're trying to plan out the rest of the year so that we can save accordingly, so I'll keep you posted. Where else have you been besides Italy?

    Best news of the day yesterday was finding out they had found a donor!! I'm hoping it all works out and she lives to be old and gray!!

    Julia, again, thank you for reading about these adventures...and for sharing your own adventures with me. =)

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  3. The cinnamon rolls turned out alright. I used the cinnamon buns recipe at MGCC site. The recipe called for honey which I suppose is better for you than refined sugar but it left the rolls with a honey flavor that I don't associate with cinnamon rolls. Next I want to try the recipe Cinnamon Roles 101 at The Pioneer Woman blog site. I also enjoy recipes from Deep South Dish and Joy The Baker blog sites.
    I've never been to New York City but I know you two will have a wonderful time. Sounds like big fun!!!.
    Where else I been. My first trip almost twenty ( can't believe it ) years ago was a tour to England, Scotland, and Wales with a cousin. A few years later back to England and Scotland with family this time we rented a car. Several years went by and I went to Italy by myself on a tour. A few years later I went back with a friend. We bought railpasses and traveled from Milan down to Sorrento. I wanted to move on from Italy but my cousin wanted to go to so off I go again. That has been several years ago now. That's my history of foreign travel.

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    1. Aw man! You know what this means? You just have to make another batch! =) This time, with sugar...

      If I go back to England I'll rent a car and see the countryside. Actually, I'd like to do a Jane Austen tour. Sounds silly, I know, but I think I'd love it. I'd also love to rail across Italy.

      I feel like I'd need a year to see all the places I want to see - the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall, Greece, Prague, Paris, Johannesburg, Mozambique, on a safari, Brazil (Andy's been there and LOVED it!), and also I'd like to go to Prince Edward Island where Anne of Green Gables lived. There are so, so many more...

      Check out the EarthPics twitter. I favorite almost all of their posts so that I can remember all the places I want to go someday. It's so pretty to look at their pictures, though I tend to wonder if they're all accurate.

      I hope you've had a wonderful start to the week!

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  4. Oh given the time and deep pockets where we couldn't go and what we couldn't do!. I think a Jane Austin tour would be lovely. I would love to see Prague and also Salzburg and Budapest. I'm really thinking about Ireland for a vacation. Until we can travel we can continue to dream about all these wonderful and exotic places.

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  5. Yes, I am the artist of that show several years ago. Your post nearly brings me to tears knowing that it touched someone so deeply. Looking back, I was very lost when I created that art, but I was excited that I found a way to express those feelings. I, too am a different person now, but I occasionally still revisit that style. It makes me feel nostalgic for St. Louis, for that period of my life, and in a strange way, for the sadness I left behind.

    I think the fact that you connected with my art speaks to the fact that even in our loneliest moments, we are not alone. There are always others who share our struggles, whether we know it or not. Thank you so much for the memory.

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    1. Jon, what an incredibly beautiful sentiment. I had never considered that. "Even in our loneliest moments, we are not alone." Thank you for that reminder!

      I remember the artwork you did. It was so impressive! The giant cityscapes composed of one line. Just so amazing. I couldn't understand how you did it.

      That drawing has become precious to me. Whatever brought you to draw it, thank you for sharing it with me. It has made my world better.
      xo

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  6. Beautiful post about this marker in your life odyssey. Thank you. Interestingly, I do not feel the flower with sadness at all. It is graceful, and quirky, if a bit uncertain.

    I do have a story of a connection, though it isn't mine. I had a piece of art I bought from a local shop. It was acrylic on brown kraft paper, an astronaut, hanging in space, unable to properly commit suicide due to the lack of gravity. My son's friend was staying with us for a couple days (he's 18), and he connected with that painting like I have never seen. He carried it around and propped it in front of him while eating breakfast or playing a game. I gave it to him when he left, of course. They were obviously meant to be together. Painting here, if you are curious: http://ciaopeoria.com/G/gonzalez_j-3.php

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    1. When I looked at the picture, Theresa, I also couldn't help but stare at it. So well done and there is certainly a quality to it that draws you in. And what a great story of connection! It's amazing how art can speak to us. What a gift you gave him!

      Thank you for taking the time to read my post and share your own thoughts. I can see the uncertainness in that little flower as well.

      Have a great week!

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