I'm sitting here taking shallow breaths so as not to breathe in too much of my own scent.
I'm a white, white girl, who could go out in the sun for twenty minutes and end up looking like a lobster. Even with loads of sunscreen, after a long day in the sun, my skin is only hot pink, and it never fades into that beautiful tan everyone longs for, but instead just fades back to white, with a few extra freckles.
After witnessing Ross's Mississippi-ly mishap, I was never interested in getting a spray tan. But it's been a busy week and I haven't had much time for new adventures, so when I saw that Shine gives first timers a free spray, and they're open until 10pm, I decided to pop in tonight for a bit of color.
The woman at the desk was so helpful, and she ran through all the procedures with me, and I felt completely confident in their product and my ability to navigate the booth.
I obediently did all that she had instructed. Strip. Put on shower cap. Apply lotion to heels, in between toes, palms, in between fingers, nails and knuckles. Step inside booth. Press the flashing green light. She had reviewed all the movements with me, and I executed them semi-flawlessly (I turned right when I should have turn left, and vise versa, but that's what I always do. I'm a little messed up like that.)
At first I was excited about my new adventure, and as I drove home, I imagined how awesome I was going to look with my first tan ever. I ate some dinner while I worked on this post, (I was much more positive then) and finally at about 11 I found myself face to face with a mirror and gasped.
I have the tangerine glow of an Oompa-Loompa.
I tried to have faith in the system, but by 1am, I jumped in the shower and scrubbed myself as hard as I could.
The result?
Well, she did tell me to lift my chin when the sprayers began, but I was so shocked at the sudden burst of cool mist that I tilted my head downward, and now my neck is extra white compared with the rest of me.
And I did apply that special cream to my hands and feet, but apparently not enough on my right hand, because it's officially darker than my left one.
Also, they said the smell would go away once I showered. They lied.
Looks like my Sunday adventure will be researching how to make this fade faster.
Hope your weekend adventures are infinitely more successful!
No picture?!?! Also, how dark of spray did you use? I would recommend the lightest.
ReplyDeleteI did the second lightest, at the tan specialist's suggestion. I was too hideous for a picture! Hilariously hideous! There was a picture of my oompa loompa hand on my Instagram...
DeleteWait, I'll try to add it here after I respond to comments...