...deep breaths...

(Monday, March 17)

From the moment we are born, our parents shelter us, clothe us, feed us, love us and advocate on our behalf. What happens when those roles slowly begin to reverse?

My mom was rear-ended back in early February. The man in front of her stopped to let someone out of their parking spot, my mom stopped, but the man behind her (and the man behind him) did not stop. The man directly behind my mother then got out of his car, ran up to my mother's window, and yelled at her for stopping. Ultimately, this man's horrible behavior, which did not stop there, caused my mother to have an episode akin to a panic attack, until she was capable of spitting out the words to leave her alone until the police came.

No one was hurt in the incident, and all the damages are minor, but my mother has been on a six week quest to have her back bumper fixed, to no avail.

I was furious after hearing the story. All I really wanted to do was punch the man who yelled at my mother in the face, but I decided I'd settle for getting her bumper fixed. I called her insurance company (the adjustor didn't return my mother's five calls) and was transferred to someone else who began the process of taking care of the issue.

I spoke to another insurance company's adjustor (this is really ridiculous but initially my mother's insurance company told her she needed to call the insurance company of the guy who had hit her!) who had, a few weeks prior, misread the police report and also yelled at my mother telling her that she had hit his client. Hilarious, considering my mother was rear-ended. Just a total idiot. Not once did he apologize, instead shifting blame to say that the police report was difficult to read and it was semantics! Semantics! He then tried to yell at me. How do you think that went over?

Within 24 hours, my mother's insurance company called and said they would send someone out to assess the damages and have the car fixed.

This is a strange, new role to consider. I've never had to do something like this before, though I frequently have to consider how I will take care of my parents when I am so far away. But as time continues to pass, this will likely become more and more commonplace in my visits with my parents, and I'm hopeful that I will be resilient and brave enough to advocate on their behalf.

...welcome home...

After sleeping for nearly 12 hours, we rolled out of bed just in time to see the family heading off to church. Disappointed that we couldn't join them, we watched an episode of our new favorite show and then got ready for the day.

We planned to see the hometown St. Patty's Day parade today, as I hadn't gone to many parades growing up and we thought it might be fun. Mummers, many fife and drum bands, Irish dancers, high school bands, girl scout troupes, and other acts filled the streets. I soon realized that most people had come to see their friends and family marching in the parade.

There were no police barriers which left many small children wandering into the middle of the street. Parents were expected to haul their children out of the way of oncoming cars and trucks, a difficult task considering that there was so much candy being strewn about.

Oh, the candy! Is this what parades are all about?

Me and my momma

Candy getting was certainly an exercise in survival-of-the-fittest, with the older children swooping in before the younger children even knew a candy had hit the ground. It was sad to watch...and sort of funny. So I started to pick up some candy and pass it to the little kids in our vicinity.

We left the parade early to see my grandparents and my Uncle Len, a bachelor, who recently retired and moved home to take care of his aging parents. I'm wondering what he'll do with his new found freedom. I'm hoping it will be wonderful.

Then, my brother, sister-in-law, and nieces and nephews came over for a Thanksgiving-style meal. After dinner, we played games, chatted and held an impromptu jam session with a twelve-string guitar and a ganjo (a 6-stringed banjo.) Sara played the twelve-string, DJ the ganjo, with Mia on lap drums, while Anthony, Andy and I tried to figure out some harmonies. Imagine Dragons, Bruno Mars, and Journey were just a few on our playlist. Of course, it was our Amazing Grace harmonies that were most stunning. Or maybe it was our renditions of the ABC's or You Are My Sunshine. I might have the coolest nieces and nephews around.

These are the moments that make me long for home.

Did you stay in your hometown?  If so, what made you stay?  If not, how often do you go back?

While this small, quaint town doesn't hold much, it does hold the hearts of some of the people I love most in this world, and that makes it so very precious.

Have a wonderful start to your week!

...homeward bound...

Traveling certainly saps your energy! Which is odd, considering all we really did today was sit around and start a new show.

But Andy had worked the night shift on Friday, and I had was sick with a stomach bug (again!) all night long, so we were both excruciatingly exhausted by the time was arrived at my parents house at 10pm, and barely made it through a light dinner before needing to head to bed.

Our flight to LaGuardia was perfect, we found the shuttle quickly, and we boarded our bus with five minutes to spare. All of these things I had never done before, and I must say, it's somewhat empowering to successfully navigate your way around an extremely large city.

We will spend the next three days in Pennsylvania visiting with my family, and then we will finish our spring break in New York. I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with them, some of whom I haven't seen in the past year.

In truth, I couldn't wait to get out of the small town that I grew up in. I moved to the middle of the country to get as far, far away as I could, though I always saw myself coming back to the east coast someday. I guess I feared that the town would suck me in and I would be trapped there forever. Is that how most people feel about their hometowns?  

But I miss my people, my family. They are what make homecomings so beautiful. I'm not sure if I have any other nostalgia for this place. 

We'll see what the next few days hold.

March 15, 2014

...pi(e) day...

My fondness for pie is almost as strong as my fondness for mathematics.

Meaning, I detest both.

But I've never baked a pie, and what better day to learn how to bake a pie than on Pi day? So I searched Pinterest and found a Boston Cream Pie recipe. To me, this hardly qualifies as pie, since it's much more like a cake, but who am I to argue with the experts? Pie it is!

This was a recipe that had me doing many different things simultaneously, but the majority of it was rather easy. The most difficult part was making the custard. I made two cakes, an 8” and a 4”, and I planned to have the smaller one for our dessert tonight (we'll give the other one away tomorrow) so it became my little trial run. Unfortunately, the yummy custard turned out crazy runny, as you can see from the picture. I even tried to put it in the freezer to freeze it a bit, but that didn't help.

I'm learning not to get instantly discouraged when a recipe doesn't go my way. This time, I searched “why is my custard runny” on the internet, and the general consensus was that it hadn't been cooked long enough. So I took it out of the freezer and fired up the stove again, and this time waited till it was good and thick. And this is what the give away pie looks like. Success!!

So I spent the day learning how to make custard, how to create a makeshift double boiler, how to properly cut a cake in half horizontally, and how to use my resources to fix my dilemma.

I also spent the day cleaning, scrubbing vacuuming, watering the plants and packing in preparation for our big trip.

How did you spend your Pi day?

...love and marriage...

One of the gifts I gave Andy this past Christmas was a year of dates. Our March date? Spa day!

Andy, my manly man, is instantly uncomfortable at the thought of receiving mani/pedis and putting on face creams, but once a year he lets me pull out all of my favorite Mary Kay products purely for the sake of pampering. We lock ourselves in the house and give each other foot massages and facials and body massages and head massages, while catching up on our shows.

(It's really more a special day for me and he reluctantly, but cheerfully, joins in.)

Today was, of course, delightfully fun...until we started to argue. Andy and I aren't really the yell-y types, so our arguments are really just super intense conversations, but it's completely obvious when we are upset with one another.

We also rarely fight. Today Andy commented that our most common arguments center around the temperature in our bedroom. (He likes it cold...I like it hot.) But today's argument was not about the temperature. In fact, it's an area of our relationship that needs routine monitoring and discussion. This can be challenging for two reasons.

One, there are times when we both want to give up and throw in the towel and not have the discussion anymore. That can seem like the easy way out. But that doesn't resolve the issue and it creates a separation between us. Living with that wall for too long, and we could end up growing completely apart.

Two, finding a way to have the same discussion without being discouraged (or discouraging) presents some problems. I have to admit, Andy is much better than I am at being encouraging in situations like this. By example, he's teaching me how to be patient and positive as we wrestle with our problems.

Marriage isn't easy. No relationship is. Relationships will always require effort, and we must be willing to work at them everyday. Relationships have the power to change us for better or for worse, and we have the power to choose which one. For me, learning to put aside my own habitual selfishness continues to be a daily struggle, and some days are better than others. But I'm growing, and changing, and thinking more about him than about myself.

In the end, Andy and I said our apologies, sought forgiveness, cuddled it out and ended our date day at a fancy dinner. Even amidst our issues, there is no one with whom I would have rather spent the day.

Are you dealing with a difficult relationship? I'd like to encourage you to make that person a priority this week. You might find it makes all difference.

You can get a free printable of the quote above here.

...hard work...

A dear friend and colleague, Jana, gave me a tiny little aloe plant last year. It has been growing steadily and has become this mammoth beast. It also gave birth to two little plants of its own, and today, I repotted them, along with some other plants, and gave the cute little babies away.

I've always believed that I had a black thumb. Most plants die within of few months of coming home with me. It's discouraging to watch them go from healthy to withered or yellow from overwatering.

Last summer was the first summer that my garden actually grew and yielded a (very small) crop, due to some important factors. One, the weather was not as scorching as it had been in summers past, when you could actually smell the peppers cooking on the vine. Two, I had rearranged my patio pot garden and committed myself to watering the plants twice daily.

By the end of the summer, it occurred to me that both nature and I had to be working together for my garden to succeed. It was a great realization, one that I've been able to apply to many aspects of my life.

Are you working hard in the direction of your dreams? Have you set specific goals? How can I encourage you to work toward them?

“We often miss opportunity because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Edison

Without a doubt, success is hard work, but, in the end, it's worth all the blood, sweat and tears that you pour into it.

“Never give up – never surrender!” – Buzz Lightyear

...this amazing day...

i thank You God for most this amazing

day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun’s birthday; this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any–lifted from the no
of all nothing–human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

e.e.cummings

This is what my heart sang as I stepped out into the sun this morning, opening my arms as if to accept the full glory of it's rays.

This is what my lungs breathed in as I rolled down the windows, allowing the warm air to tousle my hair into an inevitable matted mess.

This is what my lips squealed as I repeatedly blasted U2's Beautiful Day, desperate not to let this day slip away.

This is what filled my mind as I took pictures of my own real life blue true dream of sky. If only my iPhone could have captured the sunset. Close your eyes and imagine hot pink and orange clouds stretched out across a deepening blue expanse.

Spring is coming. And with it, the promise of new life, new adventure, and renewed hope. Are you ready to dive into all that is infinite, all that is yes?

I needed today. After a bitter winter, and more snow days than I can remember, I needed a reminder of all that was to come. I needed a moment to bask in the sunshine and feel the warm breeze kiss my face before this Wednesday's impending snow squall.

Tomorrow is rumored to be another beautiful day. Hopefully, wherever you are, it will be just as glorious for you. How will you be enjoying it?