...choices...

Could it be that, no matter which path we chose to pursue, we might still have found the opportunity to regret?

Whenever I'm faced with a difficult time in my life, that voice begins echoing in my mind. You know the one. “If you had done this, you wouldn't be here.” “If you had done that, your life would be different.” If, if, if... Each one filled with a false promise that could never bear up under the weight of reality.

Today's adventure was an utter bust. I was given gobs of misinformation, was hit on and gawked at while desperately seeking my destination. I wasn't given any straight answers and when I tried to rearrange my plan and make the best out it, even my rearrangement didn't work out. Grrr!

I was irritated, to say the least. But as I look over my day, perhaps that wasn't where I was meant to be. Maybe I was supposed to be at home when Andy woke up in the middle of the day, excited about his own adventures and wanting to tell me about them. Maybe I was supposed to spend the afternoon with my sweetheart, running silly errands, making dinner and watching a movie.

And I wondered, what would happen if we began to view the place where we are as the “right” place, no matter what or where that place might be? That somehow, we managed to get there despite all our wrong choices, whether you believe that to be through divine intervention or dumb luck? What would change? Would we?

...a good day...

Research. That's been most of my days this week. There simply wasn't much worth sharing.

But here is some great news:

1. I have made it to Day 6 of this detox! This sugar junkie has not touched the stuff for five days straight. If you know me, you know that that's pretty impressive. And if I can do this, anyone can. 

So I've been endlessly researching gluten, refined sugars, natural sugars, agave, coconut oil, etc and the foods that I may or may not be able to eat when I step beyond this detox and into real life. I might feel differently five days from now, but after some serious conversations, Andy and I both feel that moderation is the key. We've started to plan healthier options for the future and have been excited about some new recipes, but I'm pretty sure I'll be eating sugar again, just not in the same daily doses. I'll keep you posted!

2. I have (finally) settled on my garden for summer 2014!

It's taken me some time, and I know I'm late to the game, but any moment spent not researching foods was spent researching flowers, vegetables and herbs or cleaning up and setting up the patio for the summer. I'm so excited! This is the first time that I've put so much thought and planning into this garden, going to garden centers and speaking with professionals and then coming home and researching even more. I got online and found a few different sites where you can plan out your garden, though my favorite is still the paper and pencil method. My father-in-law has lovingly agreed to help me with some of the construction (yes, construction) and I can't wait to get started. Hopefully I'll be regaling you with delightful stories next week. 

3. Remember this post and this post? 

I got an email today saying that, while I wasn't one of the big winners, my picture was chosen as one of the top 250 and will be displayed in a slide show at the exhibition opening at the Sheldon on Friday, June 6 and throughout the run of the show. They didn't tell me which picture it was, so I'll be surprised at the reception on June 6. Not being a photographer, it was an exciting and encouraging email to receive. 

Sometimes, just putting ourselves out there a little bit opens the door for wonderful things to happen. 

So, this week, I dare you! I dare you to go out there and try something you've never attempted before! Who knows what might happen!

It's been a good day, and a good week for that matter. I hope yours has been just as wonderful!

(ps. Becky and Julia, guess where I went today!)

...urban safari...

Did you know that a zebra's stripes are as unique as a fingerprint? I didn't, until today when Andy and I strolled around the St. Louis Zoo.

The St. Louis Zoo is one of the top in the nation. They are consistently trying to add new features and update old ones so as to make for the best experience for the animals and for the masses viewing them. And it is completely free to the public. 

I'm still unsure of zoos. Many moons ago I went to the zoo and walked around to the big cats and saw the lion. He came out to the center of his habitat, turned his back on the crowd and sat down. There was something defiant in that action, as if he knew and he wanted us to know he knew. Afterward, I felt sad and confused and didn't go back for a long time. 

As we drove toward Forest Park I asked Andy his thoughts on the subject. His response: Should we not cage dogs or cats in our house? It's a fair question. I'm not sure how much my thoughts have changed on the subject, but I'm thankful to be able to see animals that I would otherwise not have an opportunity to appreciate. They are truly majestic creatures, deserving honor, kindness and respect. And I feel that the St. Louis Zoo is very good to its tenants. 

We past by the lions and tigers and bears (I'm not kidding!) and we stopped to admire the prairie dogs (Andy's favorite) and the zebras.

But my favorite and the reason we went, was to walk through the sea lion tunnel. Newly established in the last few years, it was the first time that Andy and I had an opportunity to walk through it. And it was marvelous!

The sea lions were gliding through the water, back and forth, up and down, right side up and upside down. Kids giggled and gawked while parents took pictures. Grownups trying to "speak" to the sea lions through barks. The sunlight glistening through the water creating a beautiful effect across the tunnel, and us. Watching them swim struck something in me.

They swam with abandon. There was no need to worry about a predator attack, there was no urgency to find food. It was as if to feel the water against their skin was their greatest pleasure. They seemed relaxed, content. As if they were doing what they were intended to do all along. Simply swim and enjoy and be themselves.

We paused for many minutes and observed them, both inside and outside the tunnel. And I considered my life, and if I was doing what I was intended to do. And what would that even look like? And, if I was exactly where I was supposed to be, would I know it?

Would you?

For more information on the St. Louis Zoo, click here.

...ch-ch-ch-chia...

Do you remember smearing those little black seeds all over some terracotta animal head and watching the "hair" grow? Well apparently we're supposed to be eating those seeds now. Yum!

Unflinching at the memory of yesterday's failure, I woke up early today and made another smoothie, this one with kiwi, avocado, lime juice, ice, water and ... chia seeds. I soaked the chia seeds a mere five minutes before scooping them into the mixture and, once it was all mixed, sipped it through a straw, thanks to the suggestion of some friends. It wasn't half bad!

Thus began my "winning" day. I ate all the right foods at all the right times, I sweat out toxins in boot camp, and most importantly, I haven't eaten any processed sugar, gluten or dairy all day!

While I might not be hungry, I'm desperately craving sugar. My sugar withdrawal was most obvious when, after dinner, Andy ate a piece of candy and I couldn't stop kissing him. He just tasted so good!

This will definitely be more of a challenge than I was expecting, which is why I'm thankful for you. In fact, today I fried up some bacon because I just wanted to eat something that wasn't a vegetable, but I knew I'd have to own up to you this evening, so I put them in the fridge for Andy to eat. Y'all are great motivators! (I did lick my fingers, though...wouldn't you?)

Truly, the Blood Sugar Solution is a fascinating read. Is it possible that we have put certain chemicals in our bodies that don't want to let go of us? That remain in our system and cause all kinds of problems in the here and hereafter? It's an issue worth investigating and considering with more than just a passing thought.

I'm interested to see what, if anything, changes in me over the next two weeks. I've heard these urban legends of barren women getting pregnant after "detoxifying" themselves...perhaps I'm being overly hopeful.

But...can one ever "over hope?"

...10 day detox...

After seeing a television interview with Dr. Mark Hyman about our culture's addiction to sugar, I reserved his book "The Blood Sugar Solution: 10 Day Detox" at our local library. I tested a few of his theories on myself and quickly realized that I, too, am addicted to sugar. (I'm sure anyone of my close friends could have told you that.)

Oh, how I love sugar!

But my mom is a type 1 diabetic. My niece is a type 1 diabetic. Andy's dad is a type 1 diabetic. And my dear, sweet, handsome husband is a type 1 diabetic. Though I long to have little Andrews running around our home, it might be better if we don't reproduce. With these genes, our kiddos would be doomed.

I'm becoming more aware that I need to be proactive about my families health, thus the book and the events that transpired today.

I didn't want to not eat ice cream cake on Andy's big birthday, and I couldn't miss out on Dewey's pizza at pizza school. Plus, Monday is the best day to start any "diet" program, so I decided that my detox would begin today. This structured program, with different recipes for each day, convinced me that I could succeed. Don't eat sugar, gluten or dairy for 10 days. Easy peasy! Or so I thought...

I started the day off with an almond/strawberry shake. I had picked up all the ingredients and prepared them the night before, including putting the flax seeds and other nuts in water so that the "enzymes could be released." I cheerfully jaunted into the kitchen this morning, looking forward to my "smoothie." It didn't take long to realize that the nut/flax seed mixture had all congealed together into one gelatinous glob. I poked it a few times, I was so surprised.

Undeterred, I dumped it, the frozen strawberries, the almond butter, the ice, and the avocado into the blender and mushed it all up until I thought it looked smooth. I dumped it into a cup, swished it around and stared at it for a few seconds before lifting the mug to my lips.

The only thing more challenging than not breathing in when I tried to sip it, was trying to swallow. It was oddly thick, and I felt it necessary to chew before swallowing. It certainly didn't taste like any smoothie I've ever had. I only drank about an inch down the cup.

When I got home, I realized that in my haste and excitement I had forgotten to add the ginger and cinnamon. I'm sure those would have made all the difference. (Hopefully, you read my sarcasm.) I had intended to make a cauliflower/asparagus soup, but I was so hungry by the time I got home that I immediately ate the leftover pizza in the fridge. Sigh.

I failed. But if at first you don't succeed, try, try again!

And so I shall. And, don't worry, everybody, I made sure to eat all the pizza leftovers so that this won't happen again tomorrow.

I hope you are so much more successful in all you attempt this week! But if not, show yourself a little grace, and then try, try again. I know you can do it!

...class is in session...

We've been anxiously awaiting this day!

Last month, pizza school was rescheduled due to inclement weather. This date has been burning a hole on our calendar.

I love Dewey's Pizza! I think it has some of the best pizza in the St. Louis area, or anywhere for that matter. And when Andy told me that they were holding a mini "pizza making class," I jumped at the chance to attend.

We walked into the little restaurant, which was closed down for this special event, and took our place a small table by the windows. A kind waitress took our drink orders, and we were called back to the kitchen.

We donned our aprons, washed our hands, and took our place in front of the dough tossing window for all to see. A pizza expert shared the secrets of a perfectly crafted crust and taught us how to toss the dough through the air.

We were passed onto another person who walked us through all the toppings (oh so many toppings!) If you ever do this, take our advice: There is such a thing as too much cheese on pizza.

After our pizzas were finished, we were ushered back into the dining area, where we nibbled on salad before our pizzas were delivered to our table.

This was a wonderful activity! We had so much fun being creative with pizza! Though there is a cost, it includes your 13” pizza masterpiece, salad, drinks and a fun memory, and every penny goes to help that day's specific organization.

All the proceeds from today will go to Camp Rainbow, a group that serves children with cancer and blood-related diseases by providing them with an authentic camping experience in a safe environment. Andy and I would encourage everyone to participate in the next pizza making event. We might even want to join you!

For more information about Camp Rainbow, click here. For more information about the DewMoreDeweysPizza Organization, click here.

...don't wish for it; work for it...

Do you remember my friend, Kate, from this post, and this post? Well, this weekend was her new opera company's debut, and tonight, I had the privilege of volunteering.

Gateway Opera is a chamber opera company that seeks to reach new audience members in a fun, accessible and affordable way. Held at The Chapel, a not-for-profit music space, the small setting really set the stage for an intimate experience.

I welcomed people to the event as the official door opener. As a volunteer, my ticket was complimentary, and since we had already purchased two tickets, I invited my good friend, Laura, to join us.

Menotti's Old Maid and The Thief was the on tap for the evening. In my mind, it was the perfect start! It's in English, it's short and it's funny! It was so good to hear Andy giggling at his first opera experience. I want him to love all types of music and help me instill that love in our children.

Afterwards, the players walked around and chatted with the audience before heading off to an after party at Kate's house. Laura and I tagged along, and we enjoyed the conversations and the people.

Ultimately, this was a wonderful first step for Kate and Gateway Opera! I'm hopeful that you'll all take the time to research this fantastic new company and find ways to participate in helping them forge ahead.

Kate has certainly worked hard to make her dream a reality. How are you pursuing your dreams?

For more information about Gateway Opera, click here. To follow them on Facebook, click here.